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Monday, July 27, 2015

Today Threw Up on Me

The Roomba ate my pajama’s today.  Bill ran over my toad house.  Then I had a doctors appointment where Ellie cried the whole time AND the receptionist gave me attitude about it.  (She didn't SAY anything but she was all like, ugh, you filled out this part of the form wrong..I’ll have to fix it now…) and if she had asked me to fill it out again with Ellie screaming beside me I probably would have chucked the pen right in her bored, obviously-no-kids-of-her own- eye.  RIGHT IN THE EYE.  Growl.   And I skipped breakfast and I haven’t had any caffeine YET today and you know what’s hilarious?  When I woke up I was in a GOOD MOOD!  I was like, hey, baby is still asleep, the sun is shining, life is GOOD.  And then the day threw up on me.  Threw up all the random, no-fun crappy stuff that happens to us from time to time.  I’ve never had a vacuum eat my pajama’s before though, that’s a new one even for me.  How did the filter come off the front?  What, it SPIT IT OUT so it could EAT MY PAJAMA's!?  And the toad house thing, that’s a first too.  I’m making little toad houses out of old flower pots so when I have my garden they’ll eat the pests and I won’t have to use all those dumb pesticides.  Anywhoo….

Yesterday Bill took Ellie for a daddy-daughter H mart run.  (That’s an Asian grocery store where we can get sushi-grade fish) and Asian sauces and other tasty things the Melba-white-toast HEB around here doesn’t carry.  They had them everywhere in Virginia but here in Conroe, Texas, they’re a bit scarcer.  An hour drive away.  So.  I had at least 2.5 hours to myself yesterday.  So, I made the (now broken) toad house and was quite pleased.  I cleaned the floors, tidied up, and did a half hour of Yoga a la Wai Lana.  Ah, bliss.  I don’t just enjoy yoga, I NEED IT.  Everything feels better and I don’t feel so tight in my heart as well as my limbs.  Why do I allow my life to be fashioned in such a way that the only time I get to do it is once a month?  Not acceptable.  So I was reveling in my new found insight this morning after a good night’s sleep.  I’m going to do yoga EVERY DAY.  Yep.  Ellie gets up anywhere between 4-6am BUT I think I can start training her to go back to sleep on her own.  If I can do that then I can do yoga EVERY DAY at 5:30am.  Or, train BILL to get up with her as he’s getting up in a half hour anyway….hmmmmm.  I cannot WAIT for the day Ellie is old enough to want to sleep in.  Oh boy oh boy oh BOY am I going to have fun with that.  BANG BANG BANG go the pots at 6am.  TWEET TWEET TWEET goes my weirdo nature music on full blast while I have my morning tea.  Hot.  I would drink it right away so it would still be HOT WHEN I DRANK IT.  Oh hallelujah.  Ah the small things a stay-at-home mom sacrifices for the happiness of her progeny.  Hot tea.  Sleep.  Forms filled out correctly.  A clean house.  An afternoon of cheese-it’s and a Harry Potter marathon.  The stuff of dreams….

Anyway who needs sleep and hot tea and not sharing my ice-cream cone and a peaceful morning?  Not this girl.  (This girl….)

All the time from the older ladies I hear ‘Enjoy it, it goes so fast!  Enjoy every minute!’ and I think, really?  EVERY MINUTE?  How about the one where she got bored sitting in her high chair and she gagged herself and then THREW UP ALL OVER HERSELF?  Or how about the minute she’s hysterically crying and kicking on the floor and she doesn’t want to be held and she doesn’t want to be down and she doesn’t want food or water or a pacey or something to chew and I am reminded I have no clue, absolutely NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING and I’m re-thinking my basic intelligence and the ability to JUST GET THROUGH THE DAY!?  How about those moments?  Should I enjoy them too?  While I’m dirty and tired and bewildered and have lost my ability to tell whether that stain on my shin is chocolate or poop?  Honestly the last time one of those sweet old ladies said that to me I had the sudden overwhelming urge to RUB THAT BROWN STAIN ALL OVER HER SWEET SMILEY FACE.  It’s PROBABLY chocolate people.  Don’t judge me…

Well anyway the light of my life is having a nap right now so you know what?  There’s a Harry Potter movie on, the tea is hot, the ice cream is cold and yes, I’m going to enjoy everything all together at the same time.  You have to enjoy EVERY MINUTE you know.  Because it goes so fast…