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Sunday, October 11, 2015

Nurturer, Weird Deer Remedy, Spider Bites

Nurturing.  It’s where I hit my stride, when I’m in ‘the zone’.  

Whether it’s pruning a new transplant, watering, or finding a sunnier place for them to sit, I love it all.  I’m talking plants, of course but as I was weeding the garden out back I thought, it’s all nurturing.  

Cuddling my baby girl, settling the dirt over new bulbs like tucking a baby under the covers, even baking the season’s first apple crisp, watching to make sure it doesn’t scorch.  It’s all nurturing.  It’s working in your own quiet way to encourage life.  Creating something from nothing.  Moving a thought from your heart to the world, that’s MAGIC.  Every backyard gardner, every amateur painter, anyone who has ever baked cookies, we’re WIZARDS! 

Every new sprout I see amazes me.  (It worked.  I planted something, and it GREW!)  Every time I manage to bring an indoor plant back from the brink, or try a recipe for the first time and it’s edible I think…this is a MIRACLE.    

Bill and I went to some yard sales Saturday morning.  We bought a bread maker AND a pasta maker.  We are SO AMAZING stupid-optimistic.  Anyway at the place where we bought the pasta maker we met an interesting older couple.  Joe and Olga.  They let us check out their back yard (I don’t know HOW this happened - all I know is Bill went for an early morning bike ride and when he came back he said I had to go with him to check out this guy’s backyard).  Sometimes Bill is a mystery to me.

ANYWAY.  Their backyard was very, very cool.  There were beautiful plants and trees strung with party lights (party lights!!) lining these labyrinth-like walkways that crissed and crossed and double-backed on one another.  All of these launched out from a rambling patio full of furniture and hammocks and flowers.  On our way back we found the outdoor kitchen complete with BBQ, sink as well as a fire-pit.  (I’ve always wanted a fire pit!)  They had circled the pit in with mulch and just threw old logs down with the odd chair.  There were picnic tables and small home-made benches scattered throughout as well as loads of different kinds of plants and trees.  The effect was spooky (will we find our way back?) and charming at the same time.  (Who cares!)  You could tell he added each new piece one at a time, over years.  If fairies were real, they'd be hanging out in this guy's backyard.

So.  I think I’ve got Bill on board with my backyard schemes which is nice.  Turns out I like spending time outdoors as long as it’s CLEAN.  I understand I have issues which may or may not impact my quality of life….

I loved the idea of walkways.  (What, I can avoid walking on the grass with all it’s weird Texas ticks and spiders and strange small bugs that rise from the grass and hover in mid-air like a tiny insect pool of grass-fish?)  AWESOME.  Not to mention the avoidance of deer poop.  And rabbit poop.  And to a lesser extent Toby poo.  To an even lesser extent butterfly poop.  (What, you didn’t think they poo’d?)  They do.  EVERYTHING ALIVE POOPS.  And in our backyard, it seems.

I will leave you with a martial spat about our backyard.  (Well, ONE of them).  I’m not picking up Toby poo when EVERY ANIMAL in a 500 mile radius finds our grass a delectable place to defecate!!

ANYHOO!  I wanted a fence for the garden, because of said defecating animals.  Bill doesn’t think BUILDING A FENCE is something that needs to be done.  Instead, he has googled this weird ‘deer remedy’.  Instead of a fence he’s wrapped the garden in FISHING LINE.  (We tried that cheap orange plastic stuff, the deer just chew through it.)  He says the deer can’t SEE the finishing line, just feel it, get freaked out, and leave it alone.  “That’s not going to work.”  I said.  Being all supportive and sweet as per usual.
“We’ll see and if not I’m out $5 for finishing line.”  He says being all annoyingly reasonable and calm.
“No, we’ll be out what I planted because they will EAT IT.”  My voice is getting higher.  I can hear it but I can’t stop it.
“We can set up something tasty inside to test it.”
“Well we have to wait a week until they get used to it.”
“They’re not going to get used to it.”
“Yes, they will.”
“No, they won’t.

Then we break out in a fist fight while Ellie referee’s.  BTW, Mommie always wins.  Mostly because Ellie can’t say ‘daddy’ yet.

ANYWAY.  He put it up today.  It took ONE deer exactly TWO hours to work up the courage to step through.  

“You know how I hate to be right but….THIS DIDN”T WORK.”  I say, being my usual gracious self.
“We-eeeelll.  He can see the line, it has water on it from the rain.”  Straws.  He’s grasping at straws!
“I know another place we can use that fishing line….”  I say sweetly.  So sweetly.

So.  In the interest of marital happiness I have agreed to wait until ‘there’s no water on the line making it visible…’

I’m a saint.  A SAINT I tell you!  

Oh and Bill got bit by a spider.  He’s fine, he’s fine but I had to nurture him too for a bit today.  Although with him for some reason I don’t feel the same peace and happy-buzz I feel when gardening or cuddling Ellie.

IE:  “Sit DOWN and put your foot up!  Sit DOWN!  SIT BACK DOWN RIGHT NOW.  BLEEP BLEEP Bill if you don’t sit down and put that ice pack back on I’m going to take that fishing line and….”)  Yep.  I’m definitely a nurturer.