I’m working on being grateful. It's easy to be grateful for your health, and for sweet Ellie-Belle. She had a birthday yesterday and I may have gone overboard with the balloons and the pink fur trimmed tiara that lights up...It's not so easy to be grateful for things that drive you nuts.
Take the old, poopy brown colored couch and love seat Bill has had since 1912. They’re ugly and old I want them gone and I'm grateful that….they’re not lumpy. It better be grateful I haven't 'accidentally on purpose' set it on FIRE. Ho, HO I'm in a MOOD today!
I saw a turkey vulture this morning perched on the edge of my garden post. He sat there long enough for me to call to Bill to come see. I’ve never seen one that close. I’ve never seen one not ‘cleaning up’ something by the side of the road. It’s disturbing to see them crouched around their meal but at the same time they keep things clean. Less diseases that way, less rodents. They have their own purpose to fill.
I saw one fly across the road last week, they’re a common enough sight around here. Her wings were tipped with grey and I thought, there is a beauty to them, a glimmer of it. And now today I see one perched on the post. Bill joked maybe nothing’s been hit in a while and it’s turning vegetarian in it’s hunger. He didn’t eat any of my lettuce though.
I don’t know if I believe in signs but enough so that my recent purchase of plane tickets for the trip home made me a little nervous. Not that it would stop me from going, just because I saw a bird up close I’ve never seen so close before. One associated with…the less delicate side of life.
There are all kinds of animals around here. Several people arrived for Ellie’s birthday party yesterday remarked in amazement there was a deer sitting at the edge of the driveway, and he didn’t move when they pulled up. That didn’t surprise me. They often stand by the driveway, or leisurely walk across it as I come home, staring at me with ears perked, watchful but not nervous enough to run or even to stop chewing. The rabbits don’t even run when Toby gets let out to do his business. He rarely sees or smells them. He’s not a very smart dog. Or maybe he’s getting older.
The squirrels he chases. They’re a lot quicker than the rabbits are, that is, they’re twitchy. The rabbits hold still, so still you don’t realize they're eating but the squirrels flit back and forth over the grass looking for special morsels, never satisfied, their movements quick and jerky and sporadic.
We have two huge picture windows that look out at the garden and the yard. Most of the yard is not landscaped. Lots of trees and thick bushes. A couple days ago I watched two dogs romp into the yard. A big German Shepard and a tan Pit Bull. Not for once I wished I had a fence to keep random dogs from wandering in but as I watched them play I had to smile. They actually…frolicked. Like puppies. I guess I’m glad I didn’t miss that.
All that to say…I’m working on being grateful for what I have instead of pouty over what I don’t have. Toby’s getting older - but now I don’t have to worry about him hurting the bunnies. I don’t have a fence but, I get to see random displays of doggie-joy. A fence wouldn’t keep the twitchy squirrels out anyway. Ellie is getting over her cold and she’s feeling better. I’m just getting over Ebola but…I have a soft couch to rest on.
Stupid, ugly, old couch to rest on.
I want a new dark brown leather sectional with end reclining seats and middle cup and popcorn holder. Not to be too specific. Ellie accidentally marked in black ink all over it last week. Unfortunately, Bill managed to clean it out.
My summering resentment against the couch doesn’t take over my WHOLE day. Just every time I SIT ON IT. I may need another hobby…
I’m grateful the ugly couch is soft.
Deepak Chopra says…”Gratitude opens the door to…the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.”
I think I believe that. I just wish it also opened the door to a new couch too.