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Friday, July 15, 2016

My Ideal Life

So I’m reading another self-help book.  I can’t HELP it, I’m addicted to improving my life.  It’s just, there’s only ONE you know, that I know of, that’s available to me right now anyway so I want to make the most of it.  Seize the day!  And stuff.

Anyway, it’s like a self-help book for people who can’t stand people who read self-help books.  It came out a couple years ago - “You are a Badass - How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”.  By Jen Sincero

ANYWAY - there’s a section in it that asks you to describe your Ideal Life.  Who you’re with, where you live, what you do for fun, what you do, how much you make, what you’re wearing, etc.  And I had SUCH A HARD TIME WITH THIS!  

Everyone has to try this because if you’re anything like me you sit there with a pen and a blank piece of paper and go…why is awesomeness not just dripping from the ink?  Why can’t I think of anything?  And then I DID think of things I thought would be awesome but they just kind of fell flat.  Meh.  

The point of the exercise was to explain your ideal life with such accuracy your heart beats faster, your brain wakes up and your heart goes, YES, YES, YES!!  I wrote that thing four times before finally giving up.  Everything I thought I wanted my ideal life to be like just…wasn’t exciting.

So I slept.

When I woke the next morning it seemed clear that although I had mentioned doing Yoga for fun, I didn’t have enough Yoga in my ideal life.  So I rolled that around in my head and thought about it and read my O magazine.  

There was an article in it about meditating where they reviewed Yoga Nidra and Kundalini Yoga.  I won’t repeat what they said but it was flippant and rude not to mention misleading about aspects of a beautiful practice they obviously knew nothing about.  

I.  Was.  So.  Mad.  

I IMMEDIATELY fired off a very angry note back to the complaints department about the article and while I was pounding at the keyboard about them pulling the wings off the beautiful butterfly that is Yoga it hit me.  WHAM.

No one gets THIS riled up about a magazine article unless the topic is something that is so much a part of your heart and soul if you don't go make a life from it RIGHT NOW, you're an idiot.

So.  Now my Ideal Life includes time spent living and working at a Yoga Resort (maybe owning it?) in Hawaii with Bill, Ellie, Baby Yeh # 2, Toby, and our Great Dane, Bilbo.  Now THAT got my heart going all a flutter.  Wheeee!

I had a friends daughter over to help me watch Ellie yesterday and she asked me why I was trying to imagine my ideal life.  I said;

“It’s good for you!”
“Why?”  Blink.  Blink.
“It’s good to help you figure out who you really are, what you want.”
“I already know exactly who I am.”  (Throwing a gaze over at me like, lady you’re a hundred if you don’t know by NOW, give up.)

I don’t know, maybe at eleven years old you do know exactly who you are and what you want.  But then you grow up and have to make decisions that have real consequences and you get input from EVERYONE, parents, friends, strangers.  Everyone who has a label for you and is convinced they know who you are and what you’re capable of.  What they EXPECT from you.  

You carry around your own labels, your own concepts of limitations and are pretty clear what you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ want for yourself.  What’s practical.  What’s safe.  

That was my problem when I was trying to write ‘My Ideal Life’…what would make mom happy?  And Bill?  What would make them feel safe?  Instead of…what makes ME want to do jumping jacks and cartwheels?  

And, things are good right now.  I am pretty happy.  I’ve never been one to take risks when there was a safer option to take.  But I think that kind of mentality isn’t serving me well anymore if it ever did. 

So.  Anyone know of an opening coming up teaching Yoga in Hawaii for $300,000 a year?  Or a Great Dane needing a home?

If I'm going to live this ONE LIFE right, I want to LIVE it.  And when I get tired of Hawaii I'll think of another dream.  That's the great thing about being alive and healthy - you can do anything/go anywhere if you really, really want to.

As usual, I will finish with a quote from someone who was way smarter than me.  

"Your time is limited.  Don't waste it trying to live someone else's life."  Steve Jobs.