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Friday, October 28, 2016

New Baby Prep and the Threat Level of a Gerbil-Zombie Apocalypse

Like a busy, hugely pregnant beaver I have stocked up on soups, quick home-made frozen meals, ketchup, vitamin water and apple juice.  And french fries.  And teeny, tiny Halloween candy.  (Five bags…)  Also, Costco-bought toilet paper, paper towel, and Kleenex.  And Chicken Pot Pie. 

What else does a new mom need?  We’ll be ready for this baby, or the zombie apocalypse, whichever comes first.  Just a quick question that will be explained later - does anyone think a GERBIL zombie apocalypse would be scary?

It’s an exciting next few weeks.  Halloween (the first one Ellie will be cognizant enough to enjoy…or hate.)  She does love candy.  She’s not exactly a fan of strangers and since the whole point is to go door to door talking to strangers for candy…well I guess we’ll find out which is greater - her love of candy or her fear of strangers.

Then there’s tha ‘lection.  I think by this point it’s clear Hillary will win and I predict, by a landslide.  I can’t imagine anyone who is a woman, loves a woman, or has a daughter who would vote for that guy.  Hillary may have trust issues but I trust my daughter is safe if they happen to ever be in the same room together.  I do feel bad for Republicans - I’m sure they’re all scratching their heads wondering how that guy ever got to be the nominee in the first place.  

If Paul Ryan had stayed in, or..there were a couple other Republican candidates that were decent.  Rubio, I liked him.

Anyway since I'm Canadian and can’t vote…all this is a moot point.  They won’t let me vote in the Canadian elections anymore either since I’ve been here in America so long.  It’s really starting to drive me nuts.  I think it’s probably time I at least LOOKED into getting dual citizenship.  First things first.  The newest American citizen is about to be born.

I’ve washed and rewashed the blankets and sheets and gender neutral new-born onsies we had from when Ellie was born.

I’ve spent every afternoon quietly noshing on chocolate and cookies while Ellie naps.  In preparation for…the rigors of birth shall we say?

I think though, that I’m done.  I can’t think of anything else we need in bulk or can do to make the new-baby house less stressful.  I even finished Ellie and Bill’s Christmas shopping.  I figured it’s a lot easier now than it will be with a 2.5 year old AND a new-born.

Now I think I can rest.  No more baking and cooking and cleaning every weekend.  Except maybe making some macaroons this weekend.  Yum….I even made and froze some pancakes.  I may have gone a leeeetle overboard.  (I did get maple syrup at Costco - that’s just good spending.)  

And now I’m going to just rest, and wait.  Probably could put away the 500 piece Halloween puzzle I ambitiously dumped all over the dining room table a month ago.  I got about 20 pieces together.  Probably could put that puzzle away for a few YEARS, until the kids are old enough not to want to eat/carry off the pieces and give them to the dog to eat.

Last thing to do is finish the short story contest I started.  It’s supposed to be a horror with an addiction theme.  I wrote about 10,000 words and then realized there was no horror in it at all.  

Zip.  Zero.

Two cute boys and some straight-talking, really interesting girls but…nothing scary.  So, I added Zombie Gerbils at the end.  Probably not a contest I should have tried to enter.  

Cutsy-cozy mystery about a sweet girl who fell for the wrong boy?  Got that covered.  Serious horror - ew.

And I wonder why my writing career hasn’t taken off yet….

“It ain’t watch write, it’s the way atcha write it.”  Jack Kerouac.