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Sunday, November 20, 2016

Babies Make Me Mushy

B-day.  Nov 15th.  10am.  30 minutes to leave to the hospital.

Took a shower with antibacterial soap as per nurses request.  Hospital called me yesterday at 4:30pm saying I was supposed to be in for bloodwork.  I was surprised as no one had told me to do that…her response?  

“Well, I called this morning…”

I laughed.  That’s just silly.  Like i have nothing to do the day before a major surgery and life-event but hang out in my jammies and wait by the phone.  This girl had things to do.  Ellie had school.  We had errands to run, groceries to get, Chipotle to eat, a movie to see with Bill.  (The Accountant.  Eh, it was ok.  I liked it but won’t need to buy the movie to watch it again.)

Anyway, everything important packed.  Phone charger.  Pillow from home.  Toblerone Bar.  Kit Kat back-up bar packed.  

I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight last night.  I stayed up to eat.  Yes, yes I did.  I had my ‘last meal’ at 11:00pm.  Cornflakes if you must know.

Ellie is a little fussy today.  She knows it’s a special day and the baby is coming.  For the first time this morning she teared up and said she didn’t want the baby…things ‘r gettin’ real.

We’re having a cuddle on the couch while she eats a banana and we watch Frozen for the 1,034th time with Nana.  Wouldn’t want to spend my last few minutes at home any other way.

Sunday Nov 20  Five days past B-day.  12:30pm.

Baby Benjamin Nelson-Allan Yeh is now 5 days old.  He was 20 inches and 7 pounds, 5 ounces.    

His lungs work just fine.  

He’s already smarter than the average baby - he holds his head up on his own.  About 45 minutes after he was born he was already latching and nursing like a six month old.  Einstein.  An Asian Einstein.  

FYI - C-sections are not fun.  Nope.  Neither are hospitals.  Babies are ok though.  Bill had a long nap yesterday afternoon so last night Bill took care of the baby while I got TWO HOURS SLEEP!  TOGETHER!  All at once!  It was glorious.  He also did all night-time diaper changes but one.  And there were several.  Poop too, if you want to know.  Not the easy number 1 stuff.

Then this morning Nana got up with Ellie (at 5:45am) and stayed with her while Bill and I slept in with baby Ben.  Until 7am.  It.  Was.  Awesome.  

Maybe it’s the glow of new motherhood.  The relief of not being pregnant anymore.  Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation.  Or the pain killers.  But there is something downright magical about cuddling with a new baby until 8am after being up most of the night nursing.  

Just about five times a day I catch myself wishing the current moment I’m in has passed.  He’s crying at night so I’m wishing it was day time.  I’m bored resting and wish the next couple weeks go by fast.  I wish Bill would get back from Costco so I can eat the giant tub of ice cream he’s getting…

And then I remember to stop.  Look around.  See the beauty in the moment.  Because there is always something beautiful to appreciate in every moment because every moment we’re alive is precious.  

I’m not wasting it by wishing I were somewhere else, at some other point in my life, even those most painful moments lying in the hospital bed recovering held a gem of beauty.  A husband who stayed with me the whole time, who refused to leave my side even at night, preferring to ‘sleep’ on the ‘couch’ next to me and Ben.

So, blame all this mushiness on the Tylenol 3, or the sleep deprivation, or a combination but in any case, I am feeling grateful and blessed.  And a little tired.  Maybe a little gassy too.

“A new baby is like the beginning of all things—wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.”  

Eda J Leshan.