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Sunday, January 08, 2017

Six Things I've Learned About Babies

What I’ve learned or remembered this month:

1) Babies sleep for the first month.  Then cry for the next two.

2) There are people who aren’t bothered by babies crying.  I.  Am.  Not.  One.  Of.  Them.  For the first time in my life I've asked myself....do I need Valium to survive this!?

3) They don’t sleep at night for the first month.  Then they tease you with 2-3 hours of sleep at a time and for some reason this MAKES YOU MORE TIRED.  For some reason having 5 hours of sleep a night is way harder than having like…2.  This is a scientific fact.

4) Almost every question that's asked me is met with 'Aggggnhhhh!?'.  I do believe large tracts of my brain have disappeared.  Hopefully not forever, like the rain forests.  

5) People who say ‘cherish’ these times obviously DO NOT REMEMBER THESE TIMES.  You come cherish the baby while I sleep, ok?

6) Having two kids IS indeed harder than having one.  Not DOUBLE hard, but harder.  At least right now we can each take a kid.  What about those parents who are outnumbered?  Who takes care of the third kid!?  The math mystifies me.  So do parents of more than two kids.

Actuuallllly….that’s not entirely true.  I can completely see when these two are at a manageable stage, in four or five years, that I’d want a third kid.  Really.  But I’m not carrying this one.  Maybe we can adopt?  Search church doorsteps for bassinets?  

I digress.  In four or five years we’ll be like a hundred.  No kid wants to have a grammie for a mom.

ANYWAY…to sum up…the little bugger is pretty cute.  And Ellie is SO SWEET.  She doesn’t have a jealous bone in her body.  She is nothing but completely, unfailingly adorable even though right now he’s taking most of the time that used to be ALL ABOUT HER.

How did I get so lucky?

If you believe in Karma, I must have like, saved a bus full of nuns or something in a previous life.  Those goofy nuns, always getting into trouble.  

Anywho…from one tired mom to the world…thanks again to everyone for all their help, dropping off food and visiting, all the emails and texts and phone calls to check in on me and my wavering sanity.  It is all much appreciated, even if all I can say or text in return is ‘aggggnhhhh….’