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Saturday, June 03, 2017

Fear and Teething in Texas, or, Top Three Ways To Survive TEETHING BABIES (when you can't just drop them off at Nana's)

Top Three Ways To Survive TEETHING BABIES (when you can't just drop them off at Nana's)

     1) Eat lots of chocolate.  Lots, and Lots.  And LOTS.

    2) Two words.  Frozen.  Banana.  (In a mesh teething bag - they have them in the grocery stores)

    3) Try EVERYTHING.  Most of the stuff out there to help teething babies probably doesn’t help but at least you’ll feel like you’re doing something.  

To Save YOU Some Time, Here’s a Quick Review of Stuff I’ve Tried:  

(Sort of Works) Amber Necklace.  (Actually this may have helped like 15%).  Until he wore it on a hot day and got a huge rash that it took me 7 days to get under control….he’s a delicate flower.

(Sort of Works) Teething toys.  This does NOTHING to help the pain but it gives his hands and mouth something to do so he’s not trying to put the dogs tail in his mouth. Or that dog-hair-covered-dust-bunnies-grape that fell to the floor three days ago you forgot to pick up.

Or, worst of all, one of Ellie’s kazillion stuffed animals that are lying around untouched for DAYS until Benji wants to chew the ear and then suddenly IT’S MINE!  And she wants it RIGHT NOW.  Then doesn’t bother to continue the charade for one second longer than it’s in her hands.  (Cue bunny going flying to another corner of the room as soon as she rips it out of Benji’s hands…)  

Am I raising a little despot?  Kind of.  And what does Benji do?  Blows raspberries happily because BIG SISTER LOOKED AT ME!!  SHE DID, SHE LOOKED AT ME!  Oh happy day!!

So.  Stinking.  Cute.  I digress.

(TOTALLY WORKS) Frozen Banana (or cold Watermelon/Mango, etc.)  Anything cold except for berries or citrus at his age.  (Six Months).  I put it in this little mesh bag with a handle he can hold onto and suck/chew away safely.  Gives me time to eat supper.  

(Sort of Works)  Teething gel. (minus the Benzocaine).  Worth putting it on, helps take the edge off I think.

(Works Well) Camilia Homeopathic Medicine for painful Gums and Irritability.  Made by Boiron.  I usually give him two doses and it works well for about an hour or so.  I like this option because I can try it before giving him drugs.  If it isn’t too bad, this works pretty well.  

But, when it gets acute:

(LAST RESORT BUT TOTALLY WORKS) Tylenol, and Advil.  

Dose by weight and by doctors advice.  When it’s really bad I give him Tylenol and Advil an hour later if he’s still crying/can’t sleep.  Non brand names are Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and Ibuprofen (Advil).  Generic brands are cheaper and DO work just as well.

And how do YOU, Moms and Dads survive teething?  

First, buckle in, it’s going to take awhile.  Just, get comfy with the uncomfortableness of having a cranky baby.

Second, take heart/have perspective.  YOU CAN DO THIS.  It FEELS like this lasts forever, but it really doesn’t.  I have proof - my three year old has all her teeth.  

We’re not moms of sharks.  They have FIFTY teeth in 4 rows.  OUCH.

Third, THIS IS WHY THERE’S CAKE.  For EXACTLY this situation.  

Primary care-givers of teething babies DO NOT HAVE TO SHARE SAID CAKE.  This is in the Constitution of Every Country Everywhere on Planet Earth.  Trust me.  

If anyone argues with that, just drop the pretend ‘I’m doing fine and everything is great’ face and show them JUST A GLIMPSE of the crazy you REALLY are feeling, and they should back away.  Slowly.  This is YOUR cake.

Lastly, accept help when offered and take breaks when you can.  This isn’t a sprint, its a marathon.  Keep hydrated, parental units!!

Really lastly; 

“Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the primary one was they escaped teething.”  Mark Twain.

Really, REALLY lastly: 

“You don’t know real fear until you put your nipple into the mouth of a baby with teeth.”  Angela Yeh.