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Sunday, December 17, 2017


It’s that time again - time for HAVE YOU EVER!?  

What prompted this newest addition to my blog?  I’m trying to save the world that’s all.  My country and my world has felt pretty dark lately.  

So.  Where does one begin to save the world?  By examining myself.  Well, not You examining ME, I mean, we all examine ourselves.  The holidays at the end of the year are the perfect time for some meaningful introspection.

“The unexamined life is a wasted life.”  Aristotle.

There are some things about myself I’m not so proud of.  Maybe you can relate to them?

Have you ever….made fun of yourself or lied about something you were proud of in an effort to make someone else feel more at ease?  

I think we women do this a lot.  Culturally, social harmony is often our first lesson as children, and our first objective as adults.  But when it costs us our self esteem (or paycheck) or dims our personal truth, the cost is too high.  Own it.  I need this tattooed on my fingers.  I do this a lot, even over things that don’t matter and where the person i’m talking to could care less.  

Have you ever…judged someone you liked and felt like a jerk?  

It’s embarrassing to admit but lately I’ve been doing this a lot.  Or, noticing it more.  Judging is a knee-jerk reaction for everyone.  But we don’t have to pay any attention to it.  it’s just a thought or a feeling and it has no bearing on reality.  If you wait it will pass.  

If you can keep your mouth shut long enough to get through it…  Still.  Working.  On.  This. 

Ugh I hate judgey people they suck.  Wait - did I just judge ‘judgey’ people?  Ack will it NEVER END!? 

Have you ever…compared your kids casting one in a non-favorable light when they were within hearing distance?  I am unfortunately guilty of this - Benji is fearless, aggressive without being mean, independent and self-entertaining.  Ellie is abundantly cautious, concerned, fearful of any new situation, or even every infrequent situation.  I am home base to her and she doesn’t like the looks of first base.  She’s keeping an eye on it.  

She reminds me how important these first few years are.  Benji, with his ‘I-love-you-but-I’m-Cool-Without-You’ attitude reminds me not to take this stage too seriously.  My job is to help build their wings not pad my nest with their fallen feathers.  Even if I do love, love, love those clingy cuddles.

Have you ever…realized you were wrong but were too proud to admit it?

I have no issues admitting this to people I barely know.  I’ll shout it from the rooftops!

Admitting it to my spouse, that adorable know-it-all guy who strongly suspects he’s never made a wrong move or thought…ever?  No thanks.  Would it improve our relationship if I ate humble pie and admitted it now and again?  Probably.  But who wants to be perfect right?  Boo-ooring.

Lastly, have you ever…wished the world was calmer, more peaceful, less #metoo and more #wasrespectedandsupported?

Me too.  

This holiday season I’m going to have my whole family together.  (We did this on purpose.  I LIKE my family.  Mostly.)   My focus is going to be on creating a safe, calm, loving, (nonjudgemental) space for my whole family.   I believe that working on making me a better person can help my family, my community and ultimately my country and my world be a better place to live in.  A safer place.  

Without giving anything away, in the immortal words of Kelly Marie Tran aka Rose the Resistance fighter in the latest Star Wars movie…

”We’re going to win not by fighting what we hate, but by saving what we love.”