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Sunday, June 24, 2018

Feeling Salubrious and Seriously Sharing Struggles


I’m feeling very salubrious today. That’s right. I’m feeling healthful. I’m promoting health. That is my GRE word for the day. Now YOU know too. You’re welcome. 

I woke up this morning and mediated for 30 seconds before Benji grabbed his dad’s electric razor and ran giggling into the bedroom. 

I had blueberries and cheerios for breakfast. I drank all my water and had tea instead of my favorite super-grande soy latte.

I did my math homework AND started on new short story. Well, I wrote down the word count and the deadline. Hey, that’s starting!

I did not actually work out but I re-arranged furniture and mopped up an apple juice spill. That counts, right?

I think the trick to being happy is low expectations coupled with a rich fantasy life.

So far this month I have read 4, FOUR self-help books, all of whom disagree with that. The latest is Women, Food, and God. An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything, by Geneen Roth. Every woman I know should read this book. Seriously. So. Good.

Self-help books are my secret obsession. Don’t tell anyone ok? It’s kind of embarrassing. 

Speaking of self-help, I have a friend/neighbor mom who just posted some heart-felt encouragement on her facebook about struggling with hard times. 

Thank you Jessica! 

If more people shared their struggles we’d all be healthier. We’d finally realize there is no ‘there’ to get to. No perfect utopia of a future we think someone else has now. I’m thinking of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade.

And there is resiliency in community. In sharing openly and honestly how we’re getting through our own struggles. In my friend Jessica’s case the untimely death of her father, from cancer, which is the hardest way to go. On everyone.

There are often traumatic memories stored in these cases, and I’m thinking of my own parents as I write this. I survived, sure, but I don’t have to remember my daughter at death’s door. I can think of a few traumatic memories but that’s not suffering. Not really. 

True suffering is watching someone you love hurting and you can’t do anything to stop it. I breezed through chemo as a 16 year old. 

Now, when Ellie or Benji has a fever I completely fall apart. I’m a wreak until they're better. I can’t sleep, I don’t eat, and the flurry of prayers going around is enough to snow in God AND all the Angels.

Anyway. Between her and a high school friend (also named Jessica, weirdly) who has been sharing her struggles with divorce, and being a single mom, has inspired me to be more open and honest too.

Wait, Angela, isn’t your life PERFECT!? 

No. No it is not.

And that’s ok because life will never be perfect. As long as I can take a few moments every day, or at least every week to look over my life and improve where I can, tweak what I can, and be grateful for what I DO have, well, that’s a life worth living. And sharing, of course. 

“You can’t tell just by looking at someone what they are dealing with inside.” Danielle Rupp.

After all, we’ve got enough Judgey-Mcjudgersons and Envious Eve's around, what we need are a few more Huggy-Mchuggisons. Eh? So, hugs my friends, hugs.