Welcome to my third installment of...Things I Do Now...
...checking for frogs in my bathroom before I go potty.
On three separate occasions I rushed into the bathroom to
ah..powder my nose…before leaving to drop the kids at school and there was a
tiny frog on the toilet lid.
Yes.
What they were doing there and why not to mention
how…remains a mystery.
One was white and the size of my thumb. One was dark green
and speckled like a snake and the size of my pointer knuckle. One was light
green and also the size of my thumb. In each case they let me catch them
quickly and carry them gently to the backyard where I let them go. Twice they
got one tiny webbed hand free and rested it, damp and sticky, on my hand as I
carried them. Sweet. I mean, gross, yeah, I washed my hands so so much
after…but also sweet.
Two weeks later and I’ve got two frogs in my garden, too. There they were, hopping right in front of me, one of them jumping into the
side of my raised garden bed four times before he accepted he couldn’t jump
over it. I like to think it’s the guys I rescued.
Luckily for me I’m a tom-boy through and through and have
had years of practice catching and releasing frogs back into the mud where
they’re happiest.
Other THINGS I DO NOW
Working. Turns out…its
work. Crazy, right?
I am still ‘working’ on being compassionate with myself,
that I’ve made a lot of changes in the last couple months and I need to give
myself time to settle in, in my own way.
From being at home full time to
working three jobs, I’ve had a lot of changes to assimilate. Focusing on
ensuring the kids feel secure and safe and settled has distracted me but now
that they’re settling in, I’m trying to find my own path to secure, safe, and
settled. Not to mention sleep.
I’ve had to say ‘no’ a few times so I can leave space for my
family.
I’ve had to admit that I don’t agree with people instead of
just pretending I do for the sake of getting along. I still don’t know if
that’s the right path, I remember clearly every instance I took a deep breath
and actually said my mind to someone I knew wasn’t going to like it. Maybe
three times in my life. Yeah. It's a problem.
So...in the interest of self development, I’m trying to be authentic.
I’m trying to be honest. I’m not
trying to change minds or hearts. I’m just trying to make sure my own voice is
heard, because it’s the only one I’ve got, and I want to use it, and it’s what
I want Ellie and Benji to do too. Even if that means some people don’t like me.
In the end what matters is that I want to live with my heart
wide open, I want to be vulnerable and authentic because I want deeper
connections in my life. I want more truth and less polite deference. Because if
you miss a chance to be really open and honest with someone you care about or
work with everyday, you miss a chance to be fully human. And I want all in.
So, anyway, that’s Things I Do Now.
“Vulnerability is the
birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the
source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater
clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives,
vulnerability is the path.” Brene Brown – ‘Daring Greatly’
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